Achieving the success you want takes work. It sometimes means you have to change your very approach to life, such as the way you view hardship or the way you handle setbacks.

It’s not only likely but also expected that you’ll face obstacles as you pursue a big goal. Part of mental toughness is understanding that the only true obstacles in life are self-imposed. You always have the choice to stay down or rise above. In truth, the only real obstacles to your ultimate success will come from within yourself, springing from one of these three states of mind:

  1. Apathy, or the lack of passion
  2. Laziness, or the lack of motivation
  3. Fear, or the lack of confidence

How to Overcome Apathy. It’s common for people to think that if they just hang on long enough or keep themselves busy enough, they’ll end up at their desired destinations. Not true. Going with the flow and remaining in a holding pattern equates to a miserable and passionless life. If you’re not sure what you’re passionate about, use the following tips to help you find something important to reach for.

  • Identify a destination and 3 stepping stones. Identify one thing you would really like to do, and list the first three steps needed to make that a reality. Then schedule these tasks on your calendar. For example, if your goal is to start an e-business and you know the first step is securing funding to undertake market research, make an appointment with your banker to initiate a small business loan.
  •  Limit alcohol intake. Limit your daily alcohol to no more than 1-3 drinks per day. Alcohol is a depressant and quells passion over time if overused or abused.
  • Think while you sweat. While doing cardio exercise, turn off the TV or unplug the headphones so your mind can focus on what you enjoy and what you could do differently to bring more passion into your life. Thinking while exercising opens your mind up to creativity and previously unthought-of options.

How to Overcome Laziness. Laziness is just a habit, and just like any other habit, it can be broken. When you start the day by sleeping past the alarm, you’re more likely to continue that slothful attitude later in the day. Replace laziness with high productivity by following these two guidelines.

  • Sacrifice early, reward later. When the alarm goes off, get up and get cranking on your daily to-do list. Don’t reward yourself with TV or browsing the web until you’ve checked off all of your daily tasks.
  • Visualize productiveness. Run through a short mental reel of yourself being super productive. Highlight key points such as getting up early when the alarm goes off, completing tasks early in the day, maintaining energy in the middle of the day, and finishing the day on an up note with the feeling of having made good progress.

How to Overcome Fear. You may experience a fear of failure to live up to your own goals and expectations. Or you may live with the fear of failing to live up to others’ expectations. You may hold yourself back from giving your all in life because the thought of trying your hardest and still coming up short seems to be more painful than always having an excuse, such as “If I had really wanted to, I could have accomplished XYZ. I just never really wanted to.” Learn to overcome your fear by trying these strategies.

  • Value yourself. Learn to value your own opinions, needs, wants just a little bit more than you value others’. This puts you in a position to appreciate yourself while respecting others. 
  • Go for it all the way. Decide on one important goal you want to accomplish, and then give it your all and really go for it. Tell your friends about your goal, and then every day work with passion and energy. Giving one goal all you’ve got will dramatically increase your chance for success.
  • Learn to say no. You can’t do everything, nor should you. Focus on owning your feelings, and let others own theirs. Identify those tasks that will lead to your success, and then commit to completing them. To do so, you need to say no to plenty of other requests. Will you disappoint others? Yes, but the alternative is chronically disappointing yourself.